The Power of Vulnerability
I know this title may sound like an oxymoron…however, it is true; nonetheless…there is tremendous power in being vulnerable.
Let me first establish what it means to be vulnerable…here are some definitions that I found in the dictionary:
Vulnerable: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt; open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc; open to assault; difficult to defend
Bottom line is, the idea of being vulnerable or the act of vulnerability is, to be “open”, to be “exposed” and in doing so, you are taking a risk, mentally, emotionally, physically and/or spiritually. Vulnerability is definitely not a concept that is readily acceptable by the “standards of society”; in fact, quite the opposite is instilled…to be seen as an invincible, dominant and commanding “force” is the way to be revered as successful and great…to always be in control of one’s self so that no one and nothing can “defeat” you.
I do believe and encourage the absolute importance of inner courage and strength and learning to control one’s self through personal development; however, I do not believe that this means one should constantly be “guarded” and so controlled as to be “cut off” from his/her sensitive and vulnerable side.
I have been noticing and becoming more enlightened to my own vulnerability, as well as, how to appreciate and understand it’s “power” or “message”… but what really spurred me to write this article was a recent program I watched on television about body language. The program was based on the idea that whether we are aware or not, body language makes up like ninety-something percent of our communications with one another; in other words, our facial expressions and our gestures tell a lot about what is really going on with us no matter what we may be speaking.
The program focused, primarily, on political figures and celebrities. Here’s what I found rather fascinating and ridiculous, at the same time. First of all, many political figures and prominent individuals that spend a large amount of time in the public eye, actually, hire coaches to help them to learn “all the right moves” to create the image they are looking to establish for themselves and their particular career or status symbol. Wow…that’s pretty amazing that we, as humans, feel such tremendous desire to appear to be so “together” and invincible that we would hire someone to teach and “condition” us, not only, on how to speak well, but also, to focus on every move that we make. I’m not saying this is, necessarily, right or wrong, (obviously, I understand the benefits of coaching…because I am one :0)) I just think that the more we incorporate our own self-realization into our lives, the more we, naturally, develop our true character without feeling as if we need to create an image to be someone or be successful.
The other thing I found incredible and a bit ridiculous was how all of the political figures use certain gestures to establish their personal power or control over others and situations. A few examples they showed was how the concept of the “upper hand” evolved…it, basically, entails the idea that when meeting someone and going in for the handshake, the individual on the left will always have the “upper hand” because as they reach forward to shake hands, their hand will be the one on top…and this conveys who has the real control. Another gesture or move to convey importance or control was the simple act of going through the door…the individual that is the last to enter is the one who is really in control, especially, if they place their hand on the back of the individual going before them because it indicates that they are “guiding” that person to go forward.
It’s just astonishing what we do, as humans, to constantly suggest our dominance or self-importance…it certainly takes a tremendous amount of effort and energy…effort and energy that could have been spent on mastering our true self and doing so by being real, flaws and all, and learning from living and experiencing all our mistakes, misfortunes, good times and personal victories.
Many times when we are vulnerable, it can indicate that we are not in control (of ourselves or the situation) and, yes, we may very well, appear weak…and yes, we may very well be so; however, we are, also, being REAL…as I always emphasize…we are all human and we all experience the same types of thoughts, feelings and emotions…sooo…it’s ok to be vulnerable from time to time. Yes…in our vulnerability, chances are we will be “exposed” and more times than not, be “attacked”, ridiculed, manipulated…etc…it’s the way of the world. What’s important to keep in mind is that in being vulnerable, we are expressing ourselves through our hearts…and this is where our true, loving nature resides. The other thing is that, no matter, how much we try to hide it or deny it, we will, at some point, be exposed to our vulnerability…in fact, there really is no way to live and move forward without experiencing those moments of fear and uncertainty or those moments we wish to express what is in our hearts and…not feel vulnerable.
The more we realize that control or having the “upper hand” is just an illusion and only enhances an image or a facade that is fleeting (control never lasts because it’s not our natural way of being and, overall, it does not promote our basic concept or reason for being here, which is…togetherness that we experience through our connectedness as human beings)… the more we can appreciate our vulnerability as an opportunity to be real, build our character and become whole. This does establish us to gain control…control of ourselves…and the more we learn to grow beyond our fears and remain true to who we are, and the world we live in, the more we live through our hearts and our vulnerability and…this, to me, is the most powerful way to be!
03/18/2011
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